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Study Proves-Teenagers Faking Illness To Skip School Directly Linked To Man-Flu

7/28/2020

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Ferris Bueller fueled thousands of teenagers with the notion that faking sick and skipping school was all the rage. “Let’s all take a day off,” they said and senior skip day was born. Is it all fun and games or is there a deeper issue that could come from "playing hooky"?
 
We spoke with head researcher Dr. Ulfnam at Colombo Labs in New Jersey to see just how much danger could really come from this. “You see the rate of reliability has dropped astronomically since the release of this, "The Bueller" in 1986.” Dr. Ulfnam told us.

“Before the year 1986 not a single person had ever heard of this “Man-Flu” but it wouldn’t be long until it spread like a wildfire.”

So we asked him if he noticed a large spike in Man-Flu cases by the end of 1986. His reply may surprise you. “Oh no, no. You see, in 1986 when the Bueller was released most (if not all) of the first “Man-Flu” subjects were only teens. It wasn’t for another 10 years that we would see the numbers climb.”- Ulfnam
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When asked if he could show us the data of just how many cases popped up in the late ’90s and how that number has risen over the years he simply laughed and replied “The issue is that 98% of “Man-Flu” cases go undocumented out of fear of being a "wuss bag" in the office or place of work. Most men just say they went fishing when they come back in.”
 
All we can say for now is that if you have a teenager who is claiming to be ill, double-check that thermometer before it is too late.

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Author

Jake Ruble is a comedian and freelance writer who offers ghostwriting, copy writing and blogging services. He has been published in multiple formats and is currently available for hire.  For information on how to hire Jake please contact him at  JakeRuble.com

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